Every year at the start of Spring, birds take advantage of every nook and cranny of our home to build nests. Soon after the nests are completed, we start to hear the chirps of precious, little birds filling those skillfully crafted homes. Those little birdies chirp & make messes. The momma birds seem to fly and work constantly; those birdies want to be fed and tended to all the time! One miraculous day, those little ones get to the edge of their nest- the only home they have ever known, and take a great leap into the unknown. I wonder if the momma bird sits on a far away branch, crying bird tears that their little ones are leaving home to start lives of their own. I wonder if the momma bird prays that they are safe, fed, and protected in their new lives. I don’t know the emotional needs of a bird, but I know the heart of a momma.

I was pondering this as I thought about the term, “empty- nesters”. Today was the first day of school in our county. Facebook is filled with everyone’s pictures of their sweet babies starting back to school. Most moms are posting things like, ” where has the time gone & and how is this possible?” We have been busy momma birds, running around taking care of our babies needs ( and regardless of age, we think of our kids as our babies…). At this stage of  life, we are in momma mode. In many social circles, we don’t even have our own names; we are “so and so’s” mom. We love our children more than we love ourselves; it’s the kind of love that is so powerful that we will fight the devil himself to protect them. Most of our adult life is filled with taking care of and ensuring the safety, love & protection of the ones God has entrusted to us.

It all passes so quickly. This is the first time in 22 years that I have not had a child starting school. Just like that momma bird, it feels like I woke up one day, and my babies had left the nest. I know, we raise our children with that in mind; we deeply desire to raise Godly, responsible, world-changing adults. We just can’t believe that it’s, like NOW. That day seems so far away in the day to day duties of raising children.

When those bird babies leave the nest, it just seems so empty.  It seems like what is left is a mess, a tired momma bird, and a lifeless bird home. The Lord reminded me of some important messages about this season of life for those of us whose nests are a little emptier right now.

1. Just because the nest may be empty, your life doesn’t need to be. In this culture, our worlds revolve around our children. Between school events, sports, play dates, extra-curricular activities, and a million other responsibilities, many of us have lost the person we were before we had children. I think this is one of the primary reasons we struggle so much. We must rediscover what we  love, what our passions are, & what our husband needs. We need to help other women who are in a different season than our current one.
2. Allow yourself to feel the sorrow of the changing season. Ecclesiastes 3:1 & 4 says, ” There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to weep and a time to laugh,  a time to mourn and a time to dance”. I have struggled with the feelings of joy and pride that my kids are growing up- that is one of the purposes of parenting- and intense sadness that this season is changing. God’s word tells us that there is a time for both.
3. Parenting doesn’t end; it changes. In the past few years of ministry, I have realized we all need to have a parent that loves us unconditionally. We underestimate the impact that our parents have on us as adults and the power of a praying mom and dad. Our prayers, wisdom and encouragement go a long way in the lives of our children, even when they are all grown. I have shed many tears, as well as the people I counsel have, over broken & unhealthy relationships with their parents. Keep being a parent and ask God how to help you be the parent your children need at whatever age or season they are in. James 1:5 encourages us, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. “

For some of us, our nests are a little emptier. Moms of little ones, I know the days seem long, hard, demanding, and endless. Moms of pre-teens and teens, I know the days feel full of loud music, messy rooms, and rolling eyes. But moms, these days are what our memories are made of. They pass quickly and our earthly nests are all but a vapor in the scope of eternity. Parent well, pray a lot, and love deeply.

Courtnay Aycock