SEX. Yep. I just said it in front of God and everybody. I feel like the world at large has a great deal to say about the subject of sex. We live in a sex-saturated culture. ( What does a half-naked girl have to do with an oil filter anyway?!) Advertising, commercials, magazines, social media- it seems that just about anybody feels quite comfortable shoving sexuality into my eyeballs. We have become de-sensitized to the impact that all these sexual images and innuendos have on our brains, lives, and decisions. You know who hasn’t said NEARLY enough about sex? God’s people.

As a whole the church of Jesus Christ has had one approach to sexuality- DON’T DO IT & DON’T TALK ABOUT IT. So many of us grew up hearing all the don’ts that when we are actually supposed to do “it”, we struggle with guilt & confusion. Many Christians are afraid to utter the word without getting a look of disdain. Married people that are actually supposed to have sex have so much baggage from all the years of treating sex as a recreational sport or being told they shouldn’t that they look at the covenant, God-ordained spouse that God created for them with an attitude of, “what now” or ” what’s left to do”? As a married, Christian, Bible believing, woman of God, I have struggled with ALL of these feelings.  God created one plan for sex, in the covenant relationship of marriage between one man and one woman, for life.

1 Corinthians 7 talks about sex. It teaches us, “Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

See, God created sex and He has a plan. Remember the Garden of Eden? Genesis 1:27-28 says, “So God created mankind in his own image , in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.28 God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”  God created sex and IT IS A POWERFUL THING. If this statement were not true, advertisers would not use sex to sell and pornography would not be a multi- BILLION dollar industry. God knew that something this powerful could bond two people into one flesh. He knew sex could create life. He knew sex could create intimacy unlike any other force could. When sin entered the world, satan also recognized the power of sex. Like all things God created, satan knew he better hurry up and distort it and steal the goodness right out of it. Satan has been quite successful at allowing sex to ruin lives.

I have read many articles over the years about how sex is supposed to let us feel free, feel pleasure, feel powerful! The problem is that in my own life, sex outside of marriage has had real consequences. Hard consequences. In the lives of men and women I talk to, sex outside of God’s plan has brought shame, devastation, and real, tangible  loss. Marriages have been blown to pieces by the ravages of all kinds of sexual sins. Women that thought sex was supposed to be empowering felt grief they had never known after a positive pregnancy test, the abandonment  of  Mr. Right, and the abortion that followed. Sexually Transmitted Diseases, infertility, broken trust, devastation, & haunting memories….how do these things make us…”free”??

So back to the JOY of sex. Sexuality should be enjoyed between a husband and wife. We don’t give this area the attention it deserves in the Christian community. Our silence makes the world think that Christians are too prudish to have sex, let alone enjoy it! Yet many secular studies have proven that married, monogamous couples have THE BEST sex. See, sex was never created to leave us physically satisfied and emotionally empty.  Sex was created to be the most intimate of expressions of love and passion between two people that love each other enough to never leave.  Hebrews 13:4 says, “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” 

I am not an expert here. I have been a sexually immoral person by God’s standards of holiness and purity.  I am a repentant woman. I am a changed woman. I am a restored, born again believer in Jesus Christ. I want to have the best in every area that God has for me because He loves me. I love my Savior and I love my precious, super-handsome, awesome husband.  I am tired of satan taking what God intended for good and ruining lives.  I don’t have it all figured out, by any stretch, but I do know that I am committed to figuring it out and allowing the one who created sex to renew it for me.  Christians, it is time to take back what the enemy has stolen. Love your spouse and enjoy all the good things God has for us. Stay pure with your spouse, laugh a lot, love a lot and enjoy sex with your covenant marriage partner- for it  truly is a very good thing 🙂

Courtnay Aycock

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